Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
