I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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