how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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