check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
