Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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