You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
