is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize