Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want nice things and good sex
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
