When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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