How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize