I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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