This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
