the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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