Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
