Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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