Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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