from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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