i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You pole danced in your parka.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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