i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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