I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
