How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
