guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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