This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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