What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
