I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
