all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
