apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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