i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
