maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize