Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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