Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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