sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
