Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
