man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
