The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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