Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Randomize
