How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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