3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
