Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
