U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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