Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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