it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
