I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
