Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
