i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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