In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
