Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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