You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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