Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
please come you make the beer taste better
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
