I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
