That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
