dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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