great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
