well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
