Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
