I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
