he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
