Best friends brother. Beat that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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