something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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