Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
