Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize