i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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