Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
