Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
