I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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