Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
